Infertility is something so many families struggle with quietly. It’s a journey filled with physical and emotional exertion on a daily basis, of doctors and medications and countless whispered prayers and tears. Some journeys end the way you planed them. Many of them don’t. No two journeys are the same, and that holds true for Emily and her BFF Kristin Winchester. Emily and Kristin share the long, winding road through infertility they each experienced, how it impacted their partners, and the complicated feelings they had throughout their journeys. They share how they navigated tough moments, like when their friends found out they were pregnant, and how they cared for themselves throughout that season.
If you’re traveling this road today, we want you to know a few things: if this episode—or any situation this season—feels too much for you, then you don’t have to partake in it. You are not traveling this road alone. There are so many ways to mother someone, whether you met in the delivery room or somewhere else along the way. And you are so very, very loved.
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“I don’t know what the end of your story will look like; I cannot and will not guarantee it will end like mine, and I’m so sorry that I can’t do that for you. But here’s what I can do: I want to acknowledge and normalize the complicated feelings you have, the physical and mental exertion you’re going through on a daily basis. Kristin and I want to share our stories because I believe these stories need to be told, for our mothers and grandmothers and so many others who felt they couldn’t share theirs.” – Emily Ley
“I wanted babies for forever. So when I couldn't have them, if I'm being very frank, I was angry because I thought, This is what I'm meant to do. Why can I not have them?” – Kristin Winchester
“I would've moved heaven and earth to get these babies here, but we had to have hard conversations about what measures we would go through and how many times we would do IVF and things like that. And we had a number in our head where we would try and then we would have to reevaluate.” – Kristin Winchester
“If you're listening to this and you are in the thick of infertility, you need to hear me right now: your emotions are real. Your feelings are valid and things are complicated. So you have to have boundaries.” – Kristin Winchester
“You should keep fighting as long as you feel like you want to fight. And no one else gets to tell you what that looks like.” – Kristin Winchester
“Motherhood is a struggle, no matter how you come to it. Nurturing someone else is a beautiful, giving, selfless act, whether it’s someone you met in a delivery room or somewhere else along the way.” – Emily Ley
A Blessing for Your Week
If you’re walking through a chapter you never thought you’d have in your story, hear me when I say, “I’m sorry.”
If you’re wondering if or how you’ll step forward on your path, hear me when I say, “You aren’t walking this path alone.”
And don’t forget, dear one: you are so loved for who you are, in this very moment, just as you are.
Simplicity Tip of the Week
Friends, there’s nothing about this topic that’s simple, and my tip this week won’t be, either. If you’re struggling with infertility right now, please hear me when I say that there’s no right or wrong way to do what you’re doing, to approach grief or joy right now. Make space for yourself and your big feelings. Try not to judge yourself or what you’re feeling. I love you. I’m sorry you are going through something that’s so taxing on your body and your mind. Please know that I am here, holding space for you and what you’re feeling. And you are not living this story alone. You have a whole sisterhood who can hold your hand while you walk through this chapter.
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