“If you want to make one decision to ensure your own health and happiness,” said a recent study from Harvard University, “it should be to cultivate warm relationships of all kinds.” And that includes friendships! But what kinds of friends do we need? And what kind of friend should *we* be? Author and podcaster Laura Tremaine (of 10 Things to Tell You fame!) is here, and she’s written a fantastic new book called The Life Council. And this week, she and Emily are talking about where they’ve shined in their friendships—and where they’ve flopped. They talk about the friends who stand by them through the awkward and the hard, and bring warmth and meaning and laughter to their days. Above all, they normalize what adult friendship looks like: the good, the bad, the awkward, the wonderful.Thanks to our episode sponsors!
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A Blessing for Your Week
Laura had a poem at the beginning of her book that I absolutely love. It’s by a poet named David Gate, who you should definitely go follow on Instagram, because his words are so beautiful. I think this poem fits exactly what we talked about today.
Be kind about the names
Your friends pick for their children
Praise their haircuts
Love their tattoos
It doesn’t really matter
If that’s what you would do
Like every selfie
All of them
Clap their songs
Cheer them on
You were born with a limitless
Supply of encouragements
Use every one of them
Don’t wait for the eulogies
To speak out loud
That your friends are precious
And they make you feel proud.
Simplicity Tip of the Week
One of the ways Laura remembers to care for her friends is to literally set reminders to connect with them. I know that might not seem like an easy, breezy way to care for your friends. You might feel like it’s not organic. But sometimes, when you’re in the midst of the maelstrom, that’s what caring for someone looks like: it looks like intention.
So if that’s you, if you feel like you need reminders to reach out, start doing that. You don’t have to go gangbusters and put everyone in your Reminders app all at once. Maybe start small—maybe start with one reminder to reach out to a friend you don’t see every day, or even every week. Even a casual, “Just thinking about you!” is something she’d appreciate. I know I would.
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Resources, Links, Mentions from This Episode
Laura’s podcast, 10 Things to Tell You podcast
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Let’s Be Friends!