Is it mean to live with boundaries? Do they keep you walled off from other people? Nope! Our guest today Nedra Tawwab says, “Boundaries are expectations and needs that help you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships.” Sounds like they’re pretty essential, huh? Nedra’s a therapist who shares (with her 1.4 million Instagram followers @nedratawwab) how to clearly communicate your needs and expectations so you can create healthy, loving relationships. Today Nedra and Emily talk about ways to communicate your needs more clearly to your partner, how to raise kids with healthy boundaries, and how to honor yourself through it all.
(Need a boundaries refresher? Go back to Episode 49, aka “Calm Your Anxiety with Better Boundaries,” and take a listen!)
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“Letting people know what the expectations are, what the boundaries are, what your needs are can really help us preserve relationships and experience less frustration and resentment in them.” – Nedra Tawwab
“We are developing our kids into adults. And if we want to develop boundaried adults, we have to allow them to have some boundaries as children.” – Nedra Tawwab
“The outer exterior is only a manifestation of what we can control, right? We can't control the interior, but if I could organize this and have everything just so no one would know the chaos inside.” – Nedra Tawwab
“We can read through typos. Sometimes you just have to put things out there without them being perfect.” – Nedra Tawwab
A Blessing for Your Week
I hope you remember that setting boundaries isn’t “mean” or “wrong,” because setting boundaries helps us cultivate healthy relationships.
I hope you remember that you are worthy of having needs, and having those needs met by others.
And I hope you remember that even though communicating your needs can be uncomfortable, it’s always worth it to honor yourself.
Simplicity Tip of the Week
One of the things Nedra’s so good at is saying no kindly but firmly. And in the moment, when you’re faced with a situation where you’d like to honor your boundaries but it feels a little uncomfortable to voice your needs to someone else, it can help to have a few phrases handy to give voice to what you need—something like, “Thank you for the invitation, but my schedule isn’t open right then,” to decline an invitation, or, “When you say this, I feel hurt” when someone hurts your feelings.
And if you need more ideas on ways to respond with a kind but firm no, go follow her on Instagram @nedratawwab. She’s always posting different ways to voice what your boundaries are in different scenarios.
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