Today is January 13. I am 34 weeks pregnant with Caroline and Tyler. Today is the day I marked and circled and starred in my planner months ago. My doctor told me, based on my ultrasounds, that if we can make it to 34 weeks – we will have made it to a GREAT milestone. I’ve been in and out of the hospital four times now for a total of 17 days so we weren’t sure just how far we’d make it.
It’s funny. I woke up ready to celebrate today – ready to bust out the confetti and take a silly picture with Brady in front of my mirror like I’ve done with my other bump photos along the way. But my heart feels steady and joyful and full in a different way today. The joy we feel – having come through three years of infertility, multiple failed rounds of terrible fertility drugs, 12 scars on my belly from procedure after procedure, multiple failed IUIs and finally – making the difficult decision to give IVF one chance – is real. The joy is big and intense and I feel like it just seeps from every pore of my body, every word I speak or type. But I’ll never forget the path it took to get here. It changed me. Not every journey leads to this place – that’s not lost on me at all. For years, even before Brady was conceived, I was scared I’d never become a mama. But here’s what I know…
God allows this baby shaped hole to form in our hearts when He fully intends to fill and use it somehow.
I was going to write about all I’ve learned from this pregnancy and this journey (like where to buy the best maternity clothes and what stretches have helped my back carry these two big babies) but this morning I woke up to this thought… what really matters are those words up there . And that’s it. I’ve learned that God loves us unfailingly. Sitting here in this chair continuing my bed rest until these babies are ready to be born, these four verses were on my heart. I made them into a printable (surprise, surprise). Get yours here under “Verse Cards”. I would suggest printing them on card stock, then cutting on the crop marks. Tape them to your mirror. Put them on your desk. Stick them on your fridge. They’re 3 x 5 when cut to size. And they’re meant for anyone, anywhere, in any journey.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for supporting me (and all five of us) along this incredible journey full of incredible highs and painful lows. It’s hard to be open about something so deeply personal, but I hope our story gives hope to one of you. God’s love is never ceasing. Ever, ever.
xo,
Emily
To ready more about our journey:
In the middle of our infertility journey
