See ya, 2013.

I woke up thinking that. Later, dude. Peace out. Don’t ya come back no more, no more. I woke up thinking about how hard 2013 was. It was hard. It was exhausting. It was just… riddled with anxiety and infertility and loss of loved ones. Bleh. I woke up excited about a clean slate… a new day… a new year… 2014 in all its glittery goodness.

I thought about how I might cry at midnight and breathe deep and know that we are washed clean. And those words made my mind stop in its racing tracks. Silly Emily.

Follow me here…

Then Brady and I went to the mall near our house to ride the enormous vintage carousel. In the parking lot I heard a new song on the radio by Dave Barnes called Good.

I can hear her laughing in the kitchen
And the sounds of little footsteps on the stairs
I’ve got all I’ll ever need: a wife, a home, a family
And I thank God for all those answered prayers

And it’s good
I got more than I ever thought I would
I can finally see how all the wrong turns and the heartaches
The lessons in the mistakes
Help me count these blessings like I should

I looked to the backseat at my grinning, eager little man who was trying to figure out why Mommy was crying and why we weren’t getting out of the car yet. God, you’re so funny sometimes. Your timing is impeccable. Literally.

Music moves my soul. Always. And that song brought with it a wave of emotion. In my healthy, happy little man’s face I saw all the infertility we went through before he was conceived in 2009-2010, our terrifying pregnancy in 2010-2011 and the struggles that come with being a Mom in general. And, God, I’m so grateful for him and for his Daddy. For our home and the food on our table and our friends. And while we’re at it, I would be remiss not to say Brady’s tool bench because he thanks God for it every night. Thank you, God, for that tool bench. More than anything, thank you for washing us clean every day. Not just New Years Day. Thank you for a fresh start every morning. You make all things new, all the time.

My word for 2014 is gratitude. I’m cultivating a truly joyful spirit – more soulful joy and less bursts of happiness when things go my way. I love this quote. I don’t know where it came from other than from my Pastor back in Pensacola one Christmas Eve.

Happy New Year, friends.

xo,

Emily