Everything I have.
January 09, 2013
I’m just sick with worry. It’s my dog. A pet. But I feel like someone in my family is hurting and I can’t fix it. I’m a fixer, y’all. I find a problem, I fix it. I can use a power drill. I can take weak brands and make them STRONG. I can kiss a boo-boo and apply a band-aid like nobody’s business. But I can’t cure cancer. And I can’t fix giant infections. Whichever we’re facing.
I called the vet a few hours ago and they told me Briggs’ results are in and that a doctor would call me. How on earth do people go through this with children. With their parents, their spouses or THEMSELVES.
And yet, God is working. Y’all, he is MOVING in my life. I think I’m a busy person. I have a house, a business, a husband and a child. Yet, you… my friends, some who I don’t even know in person, have prayed for us. For our DOG. Our sweet 150lb Briggs. Thank you. Sincerely. We still don’t know what’s wrong. But I’m grasping my phone in one hand and typing with the other. My friend, Natalie Norton, who is far, far busier than I and has been through far, far, FAR more painful experiences with her sweet baby Gavin has been text messaging me over the past few days. Every time I think… how do you have time to love on me right now. It’s my dog for crying out loud. You lost a CHILD. And yet, her words have been perfect.
See, I lost my grandmother a few years ago. She taught me God. She was a beautiful woman. She’s in heaven and she always finds a way to send me her favorite verse exactly when I need it. “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)
“It’s a horrible way to have to learn this lesson, but there truly is opposition in all things… if we didn’t know deep pain, fear and loss, we could never adequately feel and recognize JOY, MIRACLES AND GOD’S UNFAILING HAND IN OUR LIVES… I wish there were another way… and yet, just keep reminding your soul to be still and know that He is there.”
Thank you sweet Natalie. Over the past few days, this thought has been heavy on my heart. All I want is all I have. Everything I need is everything I have. I’ve WANTED so much the past few years and months. A new entertainment center. A new office. A second baby. And yet, here I am with all I need.
Sometimes a giant dose of perspective is enough to set peace in your heart and joy in your soul. Thanks friends for praying for Briggs. We’ll know more soon. But whatever the outcome, God is good and Briggs is a good, good boy. And you friends mean the world to me.
Thanks for your prayers friends. We found out that Briggs has advanced lymphoma. Prayers for our family over the next few days are greatly, greatly appreciated.