November 01, 2011
Tonight is no fun. Today your daddy and I talked to your doctor about how much you don’t like to sleep at night. He told us that it’s very important that you learn to sleep at night no matter what it takes. And he told us we had to start teaching you that everything is okay when you wake in the middle of the night by letting you settle yourself back down when you start crying.
This is so hard for me. When I heard you wake a few minutes ago I wanted to run into your room like I normally do, scoop you up all warm and slobbery and sad, hold you tight and let you lay your sleepy head on my shoulder until you fell back asleep in my arms. But tonight I have to watch you on your monitor and hope you find that comfort in your crib. When you went to sleep tonight we said prayers together that God would hold you tight and calm your little heart when you woke to look for me.
I feel like tonight is the first time I’ve had to let you be a big boy and not a little baby. It’s so hard. You’re still so sad right now.
Just know that at night Mommy and Daddy are watching over you and that we will scoop you up in the morning when you see the sun peek through your window.
I love you more than words sweet boy.