I think motherhood is a lot like the game Chutes and Ladders. Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. And most mornings, you start back at go. At least when your wee ones are six months and refuse to sleep. One day I’ll think I’ve got it all figured out and I’m half a step ahead of him and the next day I don’t know what time it is, my inbox is sitting at 154 (since the night before) and I have some sort of stage two Gerber on my pants. Whatever. No, really. Sometimes I just have to say… well, “day”… you win.

Today was one of those days. Yesterday was one of the other days. Yesterday, Brady’s new friend (who is adorable and deserves a post solely dedicated to her amazingness) Kara started with us. She’ll be here a few days a week spending time with Bman while Mama works. Heaven. It was hard walking away and going in the other room and shutting the door, but I heard him giggling and knew he was in love with her and her yellow hair (Brady has an early thing for blondes). I accomplished more work in six hours than in the previous six days. Go mama go. And Brady napped right on time. And ate right on time. And sat up really well by himself. And pushed his knees and little bottom off the floor for the first time. All was well at the Ley home.

Then there was today. I awoke ready to conquer the world again. And Brady had other plans. No naps, Mama. I don’t like this food you picked out for me. I don’t like my sippy cup. I’m going to throw the pepper grinder on the ground if you let me get near it (of course it opened and spilled tiny pepper kernels everywhere). I’m going to need you every moment of the day today. And so… around two pm, I emailed Lara and Marissa to let them know the “day” had won. I was “going back to go” and falling down a chute. I turned off my computer, let Brady scream for a bit while I threw some jeans on and threw my apple + squash stained leggings in the washer, packed him up and headed out. Where to? Who knows. We went to Carters. The mall. The foundation outside the mall. Westchase for some baby boutique fun. Anywhere that I could let him soak up the day and get some of that energy out.

And you know what. It was good for me. I needed to breath. I needed to get back to go and refill my cup. I’m amazed how quickly my cup can get empty and full these days. I keep waiting for that day when life is super-easy and really under my control.

HA.

(All you veteran mamas just laugh-roared, didn’t you.)

That’s ok : ) One day I will read a new-mama’s blog and laugh at her ideologic view of the-way-things-shouuld-be. I’ve learned so much in six months. A short run down for any newer-than-me-mama:

• Babies grow really, really stinkin’ fast. Soak them up. Let them play. Nothing is more important.
• Surround yourself with friends (who can double as biz partners : ) who are on the same page as you. Who love you when you’re up and when you’re down.
• Have girlfriends. I’m taking Fridays off now (another blog post in itself) and spent last Friday with two mama-friends who made me feel human.
• Get used to your new normal. You’ll never conquer the world. BUT you can simplify your world enough to where it feels manageable a small percentage of the time. That is success.
• Don’t listen to everyone else. Write your own story and let your little one be him/herself. Take the good with the challenging. Brady doesn’t sleep. Ever. But he’s got one hell heck of a smile. No really, I needed to leave that word in there – that’s how much I love that smile : ) And honestly, when he laughs and smiles like he does – I think it’s a pretty fair trade off.

Grace not perfection friends. Grace not perfection. Today my grace involved me throwing in the towel and starting back at go. And I may have shed a tear or ten, but tomorrow’s another day and I’m ok with that. : )

xo

Emily

I”m going to design a widget that’s a permanent photo credit to the fabulous Gina Zeidler. Image above from a recent headshot shoot we did in Tampa. G, you’re awesome.