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Episode 77: When It’s Hard to Connect with Friends, Be Intentional (with Team Simplified’s Jessa)
It feels like we’re ramping up for the busy season again, doesn’t it? When life doesn’t leave a lot of margin, do you ever feel like your friendships move to the back burner? We get it. We bet you do, too. Cultivating rich friendships has been one of Emily’s priorities this year—even when life gets crazy, as it always does. And today, she’s talking with one of the most wise and practical people she knows to talk about how she makes time for friendship: Simplified’s art director, Jessa Bray! Emily and Jessa talk about how to make new friends as an adult, how to keep the bonds strong with our oldest ride-or-dies, and how to wave the white flag when you just don’t have much more to give. They also talk about how to spend time with friends who live far away (spoiler alert: it’s possible to have Zoom calls that don’t feel forced and awkward!), and even how to gently let a friendship go if it’s not working anymore.
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“I've really had to work on being okay with letting people into my messy or my hard seasons.” – Jessa Bray
“I’ve never come away feeling sad I spent time with a friend. I never think, Well, gosh, that was a waste of time. Never, ever, ever. Friendship feeds my soul in a way nothing else does.” – Emily Ley
“The best way for us to have a nurturing friendship is to put the other person first, to be as selfless as possible, to come into a friendship and want to serve that other person. I think by having a servant's heart and seeing the pieces of their life that need help, and not being there to fix them, just there to carry them.” – Jessa Bray
“I’m fortunate to have people who just see me. I think that it is so powerful, to be able to see the people that you want in your circle.” – Jessa Bray
A Blessing for Your Week
May you cherish the friendships that make you feel seen and known.
May you find ways to nurture those relationships, even in the busiest seasons.
And above all, I hope you can be that friend for someone else. Because it’s just as rewarding to receive a beautiful friend as it is to be that beautiful friend.
Simplicity Tip of the Week
Having friends in other states or countries can be hard, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun! If you want to connect with friends who aren’t close by, why don’t you host a Zoom game night? Trust me, this isn’t a sad pandemic Zoom game night. It can really be a lot of fun—plus no one has to host dinner, clean up, there’s no commute, nothing! Just you guys logging into your devices and talking and laughing together.
There are all kinds of games that put you in a virtual game room, or give you a game board you can each access on your phone or tablet—just have your Zoom open so you can see and talk to each other while you play! I have friends who play Ticket to Ride most weeks together on their phones. You can also play Clue, Settlers of Catan, The Game of Life. You could also do Monopoly if you’re really brave. You can even find apps that’ll let you play your favorite card games together—even UNO, if you want the kids to get in on the fun too!
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