A Gentle Starting Point
Naming what matters most is defining what you need to care for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For many of us—especially women—learning how to name what matters most doesn't feel simple at all. We've been trained to think about what everyone else needs before we consider our own wellbeing. But knowing what matters most becomes the guiding principle that makes everything simpler. When you know what matters most, decisions become clearer. You can say yes to the right things and let go of everything else.
Questions to Help You Define What Matters Most
If you're having trouble identifying what matters most to you, try asking yourself these questions: Who or what makes you feel alive? What makes you feel unsafe or scared? What foods make you feel strong? How much sleep do you need to feel your best? Who makes you feel cared for? Which relationships help you feel love and belonging? What kind of work makes you feel filled with purpose? How much margin do you need to function as your happiest self? Once you've considered these questions about what matters most, try to name the top three things that matter most to you right now. Your answer may shift with your season, and that's okay.
How Priorities Shift With Life Seasons
What matters most to you right now will shift and change over the course of your life. I've seen this firsthand. Before the twins were born, I was balancing being Brady's mom, Brian's wife, and running Simplified pretty well. I would have told you I had two priorities: a joyful family and a successful career. Until it didn't work anymore. Suddenly I had three little ones under six and a business that kept growing. Each demanded more time than I had to give. My health suffered. My relationships suffered. My empathy ran out. That's what burnout does when we lose sight of what matters most.
One night, sitting in tears, I realized it was time to address my competing priorities. I had to stop pushing so hard, stop living with a jam-packed schedule, stop chasing the next achievement. Achievement didn't matter nearly as much as my family did. Brian and I redefined what success meant. It became less about financial goals and more about time well spent. We made our marriage, our health, and our connections with our kids the priority above everything else. I turned down good work opportunities—not because of scheduling conflicts, but because my mind needed breathing room. Saying no to commitments simply to give myself space changed everything.
Your Priorities Won't Look Like Anyone Else's
You don't have to wait until the new year to name what matters most or redefine your priorities. Think about what makes you feel loved, cared for, and safe. Those things will point you toward what truly matters. Your list won't look like your mom's list, your best friend's list, or even your partner's list. You're allowed to have needs and priorities that are uniquely your own. When you finish reading this, take ten minutes and think about those questions. Do a brain dump in the notes app on your phone. Notice which relationships and causes show up repeatedly. Circle the top three things that matter most right now. Let go of what doesn't matter so you can say yes to more things that do.
More Than a Planner
A simplified planner isn't just about organizing your days—it's about creating space for what matters most, including the relationships and rhythms that bring meaning to your life. With over 3,700 five-star reviews and so many returning customers, we're grateful to create tools that help you build a life around your truest priorities in 2026.
