A WHOLE NEW KIND OF BALANCE
July 21, 2010
I wanted to title this “How to make things happen when you can’t button your jeans.” But I decided to refrain. Lately, this blog post has been bubbling up in me and its an interesting one. My entire life, I’ve always had this insatiable drive to move forward, to take risks, to do it all and be it all. I knew eventually that would include motherhood. I also knew (know) that will be an entirely new ballgame. But no one tells the over-achiever how to keep going when they’re pregnant. Probably because most people say “being pregnant is the most beautiful, most special, most exciting time of your entire life.” I’ve heard “I felt sexier, prettier, healthier than ever before when I was pregnant” and “I had more energy, more spark, more motivation than I’d ever known for nine months.” I just assumed I’d be in that group, right?
I can definitely relate to the happy part. Its true – I’ve never been happier, more excited for something, more blessed. I loved Baby Ley when we found out about her/him, but I fell in love with her/him when I saw his/her arms and legs. Funny… :) BUT I’ve also never been as nauseous and as tired in my entire life. And I can’t button my size 4 jeans, so there. Every woman and every pregnancy is different and I’m happy to say (knock on every piece of wood in this room), I think I’ve turned the second trimester corner. I don’t officially enter the second trimester for two more weeks, but after a weekend of not being able to keep food or water down, my doc prescribed me something to keep the sickness at bay. And it worked like a charm.
My first few weeks of running ELP full time haven’t been what I’d envisioned. I’d envisioned days of waking up early to work out (finally, something I never had time for before), working relentlessly til sunset – designing with one hand and stirring the pot of home-made spaghetti with the other (right?). Well… for the first nine and a half weeks of my pregnancy, I was barely able to lift my head off the pillow at 8am and unable to keep it off my keyboard by 2pm. It was a battle. Business is great – and the momentum is definitely there – something I am so grateful for. But for an overachiever like me, the inability to cross things off my mile long to-do list is torturous. So, how did I get through it?
Honestly, I had to give in for a little while. I had to really prioritize (the biggest lesson of a Mother, I’m sure). I gave in to my body when it said “Emily, it’s time to sleep – Baby Ley needs to rest.” And I had to take advantage of the burst of energy I’d get around 10am. I’d work like crazy because I knew the next round of nausea wasn’t far away. I didn’t push it though. And now, I’m finally feeling like myself and able to get back into my routine – another lesson of being self-employed – learning how to set up a routine for yourself. More on this later.
So to all you Mama’s out there who are doing it all and being it all – hats off. I don’t know how you do it. And if you have tips, I’d love to hear them. My business is so important to me – as is my growing family. It’s a funny balance already. I’m told there’s no greater joy in life than being a mother. And for me, right now, there’s no greater joy than knowing that little person is growing safe and sound – and getting the rest, the nourishment and love it needs. Thanks to all of you for your sweet words of congrats and encouragement! xo